Dealing with Lifes Hurdles

Hurdles I use to love  hurdles in track n' field, but now that they aren't physical hurdles they seem harder to get over. Life's hurdles are harder to navigate, they aren't in a straight line nor are they spaced the same distance apart. Some are small and easy to step over, others are Hugh  and need to be whittled down to size. I am at one of those Hugh hurdles in my life right now. Rejection, not being heard and loneliness are all piled into one or maybe it is three so close together that it looks like one.
Let me try to break this down. Rejection from family and friends because of choices I have made in my life. This is probably the biggest hurdle I have ever had to over come in my life. Because of this hurdle I started to feel lonely. I have started to bottle thing up and only let them out when I get frustrated and or irritated at a circumstance that is out of my control. I take it out on those closest to me, only to make me feel worse because I hurt the ones I love. And so the cycle continues until I say sorry and go back to bottling things up. At this point I realize that I could have stopped my out burst if I had only prayed and asked God to help me not to bottle things up, that is called leaning on God and for me that is not an easy task, especially when I am frustrated or irritated.
Not being heard when you have something important to say is so frustrating. Ever have that one thing that you need to tell someone, but they will not listen, you can sit them down and say it straight to their face, but there is no recognition that they even heard you.? I have and that is the second hurdle that I am dealing with right now. If I would have been heard years ago I wouldn't be dealing with the rejection and loneliness that I am dealing with now.
Loneliness the third hurdle, the empty hole in my heart. This one I keep stumbling over, I know how to fill it but I am to stubborn. God says, "I will fill it." I say, "Okay You can fill this small place right here, but the rest I want filled by the right people." Then God says " Katie I am all those people just let me fill it." and so I give Him a little bit more. Slowly but surly I am being able to let God fill that loneliness. It all has to do with the leaning process.
Please understand one thing, I am not writing these blogs to make you feel sorry for me, but for healing on my part. I hope and pray that God blesses you in someway today!