Who am I?

Ever looked in the mirror and asked yourself who you are? I have many times, and all you get back is silence. So you stand there a little longer still wondering who you are.  You finally turn away, because there is no answer. The mirror can't tell you who you are, only God know who you are, we must look to Him to find our true selves.

I have struggled with this most of my life "who am I", as a child I tried to figure out who I was through my parents and only got frustrated and confused, because they weren't me. Now that I am an adult I have to dig deep and find out who God has made me to be and not who my parents wanted me to be. This is proving to be harder than I first thought, because it is becoming your own (God's) identity and not your parents.
As I get older I look back at the things I was told as a child and question the reasoning behind it all. The more I analyze the why, I become frustrated and dragged down by it all, instead I need look beyond the why and figure out how I would address the same situations in my life. It takes time to wipe the mental tapes of the past so that they don't become my conscience.
Every day when I wake up I try to remind myself that I am a confident young woman who is beautiful on the inside and on the outside. It doesn't always work, there are days when I fail and feel like I am not useful in this world and think it would be best if I stayed in bed, but I know that isn't true. And if it doesn't sink in I have the best person who reminds me and bring a smile to my day. (Thanks to that special person!)
When I was in Bible School in 03/04 they had an evening that was all about the women, the evening was based on Proverbs 31: 10-31. I didn't go, because I had seldom heard that I was good enough or that I was beautiful, from the people who it meant the most from, my parents. I didn't have the guts that night to turn off the tapes in my head and step into that room filled with women who were courageous enough to admit to themselves and others that they were good enough and that they were beautiful. Instead I spent the evening walking and praying, I knew deep down that I should have be in that room, but I couldn't convince myself to get dressed up and walk into that room with my head help high and my shoulders back. As I walked and prayed tears ran down my face from the hurts of the past. That night I may not have showed the others in my class that I was a confident young women, but I did find a more confident me, one who was able to look deeper at who I was in God's eyes. God comforted me that evening, He showed me that I was beautiful and that He made me in His image.
We are all made perfect in God's eyes!